Yesterday I wrote a post feeling as worn down as a piece of gum on the bottom of a shoe that has been stepped on over and over again. I wrote it feeling emotionally out of control and I had to vent. I had a trigger that caused a downward spiral. I was not strong enough… Continue reading Breakdowns
This week has been a harsh slap in the face. Back to reality. We had 2 wonderful weeks off from work and things were great between us. Now back to work, the wedge between us has returned. Him being at work is a huge trigger for me. The OW works there! I just can’t get… Continue reading See Ya!
Will I ever recover from this? I ask myself this question many times in a day. Sometimes with total clarity I answer, absolutely! Other times I am not so sure. It’s hard to be on the top of my game all the time, Recovering from this is all up to me. I have to be… Continue reading Obstacles
I started this blog a very short time ago in hopes that writing about it would help me heal. Get everything out and ease some restlessness about my situation in life. I thought it might help me cope a little better and I even thought it could reach out to others in the same situation.… Continue reading My Thoughts, Not His.
Is it possible to make a new start in life at any moment? To put strong emotions to rest, to accept life and all the challenges, to get over the past? I want to believe that it is and that I am not just a dreamer. I guess what I need to realize is that… Continue reading New Beginnings. Are They Possible?
When I asked why, this is what I was told. “Because for the last 3 years our marriage was shit. I hate this lifestyle and you had to have known early on that I could never live up to your expectations as a father or husband. I am so damaged from my past that I am… Continue reading Why
Z~ Someday you will see that you needed me more than I needed you. You will feel heartbreak and regret in a way that will shatter you. I have always loved and supported you. Given you all I had to give. You took advantage. You are a fool. When I am no longer here you will… Continue reading Someday
In my early thirties I came to a big road block in my life. It was like I was moving along fine and then danger signs, lights flashing, loud horns blasting at me, alerting me to turn back. It was like I came to the end of the road and I was going to fall… Continue reading Prozac saved my life
Yesterday I watched my children play at the beach. We are lucky enough to be on vacation for the next 2 weeks as a family. We are enjoying the beautiful place we call home, San Diego. I watched them splash and play and run from wave after wave so as not to be caught. They… Continue reading Innocence
I opened up personally to two of my friends about my problems. I had to talk about it or I was going to explode. Now I feel uncomfortable around them. I feel like they might judge me and my husband now and this thought bothers me. I’ve always kept a lot inside. I don’t like… Continue reading No Judgements
gillianstar 